Mystic Merv’s New Year Predictions

December 23, 2006

Mystic Merv is a hermit from the Celtic fringes. He sometimes speaks out ‘from the big chair’, on his mountain fastness. He claims powers of divination in the tradition of a distant ancestor, Mystic Merl, consultant to King Arthur. Merv offers ten leadership predictions for 2007 with news of what will happen to Tony Blair, Google, Gordon of the big fist, Bob Woodward, The Big Green Mac Corporation, and the monster Glaskazep merger.

1 Bye bye Blair. A leader of the Blair tribe will pass over from the Palaces of Westminster, through the cataracts of transition into the land of Amnesia. He will write a book on new leadership, new Labour, and keepy-uppy for the over fifties.

2 Hail to the Chief. And a chief will come down from the North to rule the tribe in disarray at the passing of their leader. The new chief will be called Gordon of the Big Fist

3 A Boy, David by name, will confront Gordon of the big fist towards mid-summer. David is agile and young, but his ranks of supporters will grow in numbers. Gordon will avoid a major battle with David’s troops in 2007

4 Big Green Mac workover. Following advice from culture change experts Senn Delaney, companies work at establishing their greenness. Activists make jokes about the first Green hamburger, code name Solent Lite Green.

5 Woodward shadows Democrat leaders. Merv claims this is an omen for a upsurge in new book-length books applying the famous Bob Woodward WMD of cluster interviewing techniques.

6 Lord Coe hints that Maypole dancing is to be introduced as a sport at the 2012 Olympics.

7 The BBC reverses its decision to relocate functions to Salford, when a Board member discovers he will have to stay overnight with his in-laws in nearby Crumpsell, as an economy measure. A BBC pressure group is said to be pressing for relocation to New Malden instead of Salford.

8 The Glaskazep merger. Top-secret talks proceed for the merger of Glaxo Smith Kline, Astra Zeneca and Pfizer. It is rumoured that the new company is to be named Glaskazep

9 The Google halo slips as the company’s continued growth leads it into increasingly tricky leadership dilemmas in its global alliances.

10 The breakaway alternative Chemical Olympics plan their inaugural event. Their slogan is six conjugated hexagon rings. Competitors work with teams of chemists. There are periodic tables ranking the chemicals used by winning competitors. Columbia, Afghanistan, and Haiti are among the favourites bidding to host the Games.