What to do after a pothole accident

Welcome to our programme Pothole Peril being streamed around the world. In the Studio, we have Mrs Amanda Trigg from Little Chalfont who is a typical pothole sufferer, MP Felicity Blythe, her MP, and special guest Mr Albert Pestle, also known as Mr Pothole, of the Flatten the Potholes campaign. I’m going to ask Amanda to kick us off. Amanda, you are recovering from your Pothole injuries. What exactly happened to you?

Thank you for having me. The road through Little Chalfont where I live is a death trap with some potholes the size of dustbin lids. I was on my way to work last February one day when I swerved to avoid a pothole when I noticed a sheep was trying to climb back out.

And sheep are usually nimble aren’t they?

This one wasn’t. Anyway, as I swerved to avoid the sheep, I caught the side of another pothole, and it ripped my rear axle off.

What happened next?

The axle struck a glancing blow on an oncoming cyclist, before landing in a front garden on the other side of the road. I managed to bring the car to a halt, but not before suffering substantial whiplash injuries.

Are you back at work now, Amanda?

No. I’m a library assistant


And you can’t put the books back on the shelves?

That too, at first, but then …

Yes?

They closed the library.

Over now to Amanda’s MP Felicity Blythe. How can you justify the potholes in your constituency?

We have been working at infilling potholes day and night, 24/7. We have spent our entire pothole budget for the year. But as an interim measure we are issuing TPA equipment to residents.

TPA equipment?

Temporary Pothole Assistance. Plastic bottles. This also helps our plastic recycling target.

Thank you very much Ms Blythe. Let’s bring in Mr Pestle, known as Mr Pothole. What can be done about the potholes which are ruining The lives of millions of motorists such as Amanda?

Thank you for drawing attention to this burning issue.

Burning potholes?

Sometimes. In areas where drilling for gas is taking place. The answer to the pothole plague is there already, in the report we submitted to the Government last year, which is the MP’s government, by the way. But they have failed to respond. Our suggestions are easy to implement with dos and donts.

Could you give an example?

First. Keep you line. Do not swerve to avoid a pothole. Swerving into approaching traffic can be dangerous. You should take the direct line accelerating a little to go right over the cavity, or concavity to use the technical term. That way you minimise the dangers faced everyday by millions of motorists.

And do you have other suggestions?

We are looking into more creative ones. For example, the possibility that individual residents use the potholes as a substitute for storing household waste, thus reducing the pressures on our refuse collection services.

Thank you for sharing your expert knowledge, Mr Pothole. And so it’s goodbye until next week, when our panellists will be discussing the ever-important question should you eat sausage sandwiches with red or brown sauce?

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