The Twitter Manifesto

ManifestoGood morning and welcome to the launch of the Twitter Manifesto. I speak on behalf of our great spiritual leader Stephen who is fasting for forty days as a gesture of his humility

He has trusted groundlings such as myself to capture his will (if not his incomparable wit) in presenting our Manifesto to the world.

Today is a further step forward to millions of tweeters who until now have no representation in any Parliament outside the twittersphere. Our pledge is to work towards a referendum for an independent Twittersphere.

The digital click

We seek a poll  based on a simple digital yes or no click, on the question:

Should The Twittersphere be granted complete political and economic independence from any outside influences?

Our Manifesto outlines the overwhelming case for a yes vote, and the steps we, The Twitter Nationalist Party, intend to take, to secure such an outcome

Our triumphal journey

First, I would like to indicate the enormous strides taken by twitter as the dominant global communication movement over the last ten years. Since our inception in 2006 by founding fathers Jack Dorsey, Evan Williams, Biz Stone and Noah Glass we have gained worldwide popularity.

The ecstatic formation

The conception took in a pronged day of ecstatic frenzy held by board members of the podcasting company Odeo. Within months, the enlightened ones had formed Obvious Corporation and acquired Odeo, together with its assets.

By 2012 our 100 million users were posting 340 million tweets every day. EVERY DAY. Now, at the start of 2015, we are proud to report that number has grown to an incredible 500 million users, over half of whom are dedicated and serial tweeters.

From Larry to Twitter Bird

In that year, we unveiled the replacement to the beloved Larry the Bird with an updated icon we have called “Twitter Bird” .

Our triumph over naysayers

In 2014 we triumphed over a cynical world of naysayers who doubted that we had a business model, and launched our glorious Initial Public offering.

Over a tumultuous decade, we  have overcome many setbacks. Vicious and spiteful individuals attempted to abuse our high moral intentions with outbursts of malicious trolling.

Our achievements

Twitter has been used to organize protests, sometimes referred to as “Twitter Revolutions”, which include the Egyptian revolution, (2011) The Arab Spring, (2009–2010) and other outburst of e-activism. Twitter has proved itself as an effective emergency communication system for breaking news. For example, The Boston Police tweeted news of the arrest of the 2013 Boston Marathon Bombing suspect through our services.

Today, Twitter is used in scientific studies to track epidemics and acts to signal natural disasters such as bush fires.

Truly, Twitter is the global political movement of the future, and I commend it to all for your support in achieving our noble goals.

And now for your questions

Thank you. And now for your questions, (in no more than 140 characters, please).

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