First Tunisia, then Egypt now Manchester United

The instability in The Middle East spreads to Manchester where the United regime is under attack. Protestors have surrounded Old Trafford. There are rumours that the Red Army is poised to seize control with backing from revolutionary Qatari forces

The whole of Greater Manchester is in the grip of a revolution aimed at toppling the deeply unpopular Glazer regime at Manchester United. Crowds have been gathering around Old Trafford overnight. Police reinforcements are believed to be on the way from Chorlton Cum Hardy’s equestrian riot squads.

Green, gold, red and blue

Some of the protestors are waving green and gold scarves. Others are dressed in United’s traditional red. There are also groups of troublesome neighbours dressed in blue and believed to be part of the Tevez brotherhood, led by the treacherous Carlos Teves, a former United warrior.

The red army may take control

The most sensational rumour is that the revolution has been backed by wealthy Qataris who plan to install a new regime. It is unclear how the day will unfold. The Red Army is believed to have thrown their weight behind the destabilising faction. President David Gill denies the rumours and says he intends to stay in charge.

Stop press

Rival red ands blue factions seem intent on doing battle before sundown. A 500 strong faction marches in Levenshulme together with resistance leader Gerald Kaufman (Bathist regime).

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